I LAY MY LOVE ON YOU;

{Tuesday, May 30, 2006}

booya

i wonder why life is so surprising and shocking at times.
its so full of shockingness that i cant get on terms with it.
especially when youre so angry with yourself.
very disappointed with myself can :/
what the freak lah, i suck so much and i cant accept it.
and another thing?
OTHER PEOPLE DONT SEEM TO SEE IT EITHER.
ah freak, and my moodswings are pissing even MYSELF off.
imagine how other people feel.
gosh.
thanks to all those who tried to cheer me up though :D
like at the tagboard and stuff
<<<< :D i was so angry at myself yesterday and today and everyday. went for trng yst. with the begginer class ~~theyre damn cute please~~, okay, thats NOT the point.
got the new swimming costumes and stuff.
seriousy, the blue CUM purple swimsuit SUCKS can.
so high plus the colour sucks can.
say blue not blue, purple not purple.
sigh, and all this NEW stuff only means i cant quit syncro.
and i realised something.
i not only want to quit it becase i dont like it.
i want to escape from her too.
i cant take it anymore lah, this is way too much, lady.
youre pissing me off day by day.
yes i know im lousy, im slow, im useless, but you dont have to brag and rub on it. you might be better than me, pro-er than me, faster than me. that doesnt mean you can put me down okay. im a girl with PRIDE okay, dont mess with me.
ugh.
and i knew that coach had high expectations of me, but i didnt know she expected SO highly of me.
i mean like i thought after i appeared so much worse than her, i thought coach gave up hope on me and wanted her.
but apparantly not.
she talked to me about her hopes for me and blah, and i felt really touched.
like SOMEONE actually thinks i can achieve so much? wow :O
i dont want to dissapoint her, but if i go on like this, im going to burst lah.
im NOT coping well with anything can.
and im so slow, and doing the duet, i have to catch up with her. and shes doing so well.
having more muscles than me and stuff.
and when she told me all the things, i CRIED.
omg, i dont know whats the freaking problem with me.
i should seriously stop being so freaking emotional. its EMBARRASING.
lucky i was wearing my googles.
and np is tiring me out, so are my studies.
ugh >:/
i cant take that much stress you know.
lets just see how things go?

today was supposed to be a HAPPY day okay.
apparantly it isnt.
went to shcool for that maths olympiad stuff.
it was plain shit and i guessed answer for like 99.9999999% of the test?
gosh lah.
i AM stupid >:/
i give up on maths, really.
especially this maths olympiad shit.

then went to fam lounge with maykun to entertain some moron and SYLVIA FOONG.
gosh, so rubbish.
i seriously shouldnt have stayed.
stayed to give a senior A SINGLE piece of paper, and to see that CI ROLL EYES AT US.
omg, so NOT worth it please.
i like wasted more that one hour of my life can.
ended up so pissed can.
and i dont even know why was i pissed at foong, but apparantly i was.
(yes, i know foong will be reading this)
then i came online, and she made me smile and laugh again.
omg, im feeling so dumb :/
i love ERICA ANG YI ZHI alotalot.
following me around the school, trying to catch up with me, trying HARD to make me smile to no avail.
she didnt really succeed in cheering me up, but the silent support she gave, it was enough.
you know seriously, i thought shell just ask me if i was pmsing ~~(like charlyne)~~ and leave me alone.
but she didnt (: THANK YOU ERICA!
I LOVE YOU NERD! :DD
you moronic UGH. omg, im so bloody pissed at you okay. i dont even care if you read this, because i want you to read this. you talk so much, talk so big, and yet, you did nothing can. you made me sound like a useless and stupid girl that doesnt know how to follow instructions can. FINE! so i dont know how to follow instructions, i dont know how to do anything right. then YOU know lah, you very SMART lah. like to correct my mistakes so much right? you take my place lah, so smart, YOU BE A IC LAH. you know how freaking difficult this is? you so smart you be lah. you only know how to correct mistakes, what about actually DOING it? and you freaking moronic woman, even using moronic is a honour to you already can. havent you ever heard of ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS? practise what you preach, moron.
and it was a total mistake trying to accept you. now i know that i havent hate the wrong person last time. YES, I HATED YOU, and now, i still do. what on earth was i thinking? thinking i could actually make a friend out of her? omg, who am i kidding?
a total mistake. im a total fool.
i sincerely hope you read this, read it and realise how irritated i am.
and stop pissing me off.
and sylvia, i have sincerly tried my eternal best to not curse.
this is the best i can do, especially when im so pissed.

my grandmother is being a pain in the neck.
i want to get out of this nightmare.
it is SO obvious she favours HIM, HIM who is a flirt.
and how old is he? NOT EVEN PRIMARY SCHOOL.
and he has a gf already.
omg lah.
and SHE kept going on like "wo de chris"
yaya, i got the point. he's yours, I WONT TOUCH HIM OKAY.
and everytime we quarrel, I DID NOT PICK THE FIGHT OKAY.
ugh.
how i wish im deaf

okay, on the happier tone (:
went to eunice's house yst :D
super fun! and FUNNY.
okay, maybe a little scary too?
heheh, reached there kind of late because of traffic jam :/
ohwells, by the time reached there, choryi was almost done with the thang? hehe
lazy me :/
i promise i'll put SOME work into it, SOME.
ya, then this sick little eunice showed us some super sick and hilarious sites.
omg, damn funny please.
talked alot too, like how choryi's father and nath conversed, and how she saw kelly portsher and her mother.
then watched cello.
seriously, this movie is damn shit.
and choryi was being REALLY funny too.
omg -ROFL
that woman in the movie SERIOUSLY needs some counselling.
GOSH
poor her, all her nightmares are coming true.
eh, eunice, I WANT SIMS2! i dont mind photoshop, choryi (:

oh and i watched XMEN!
omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg!
IT ROCKS HARD CAN
i know this is abit late to post about this, since i watched it like LAST WEEK?
hahaha
oh look!;

You scored as Storm. Storm is the seconday team leader of the X-Men.
She has a peaceful personality but must be careful since her emotions control her powers.
She loves gardening and is afaid of tight spaces.
Powers: Control of the Weather

Storm

70%

Jean Grey

70%

Wolverine

70%

Iceman

65%

Rogue

65%

Cyclops

65%

Gambit

60%

Emma Frost

60%

Beast

55%

Nightcrawler

40%

Colossus

35%

Most Comprehensive X-Men Personality Quiz 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com

team leader (:
i dont mind being jean or wolverine though, theyre damn hot please.
but i love rouge <333>:/
oh, and BOBBY WAS HOT! ;D
omg, and magneto was such a jerk.

i love nerd the most today.
thank you nerd, for being so understanding!
:D:D
okay foong, im done now (:
hahah, i still cant believe how EGO you are.
i like your new name :D
oh so lovable one! -rolls eyes like _______
ya, im rolling my eyes, literally
:D

[[3:54 PM;